Ranking Romance

in which I rank every romance novel I've ever read

Hey! You’re Here. Thank you!

How are you holding up? It’s an increasingly silly question, but I ask it because I hope you are taking care of yourself. I hope you are acknowledging that these days are hard and you deserve little treats wherever you can find them.

Speaking of little treats, you know what I love? Romance novels. I love ‘em. I feel increasingly drawn to the conceit of a guaranteed happy ending. I remember when I first realized I could read whatever I wanted and no one could stop me. But actually! Have you thought about that lately? If you want to read something….. you can! It’s the greatest thing.

I wanted to do a little homage to the romance genre this month and came up with the somewhat harebrained scheme to rank every romance novel I’ve ever read. Is that needlessly chaotic? Yes! We are leaning into the chaos this week dear readers.

A few parameters: I have a sacred google doc that is a list of every book I have read and re-read since mid-2013. According to my list I read my first romance novel in February 2019 and I’ve read 42 in total since then.

This list does not include Jane Austen because those are romance novels but it felt wrong somehow to pit my queen Jane against anyone. Let’s just say she walked so Casey McQuiston could run. I also didn’t include YA romance in this list although of course that is a rich and abundant sub-genre.

I tried to be brief (lol), but I fear I exceeded the length you can read in your e-mail browser so be sure to click the link at the bottom to view the whole list.

Buckle up, Beauties! Below are the 42 romance novels I’ve read in my 31 years of life, ranked from my least to most beloved.

42. The Honey Don’t List by Christina Lauren // I remember absolutely nothing about this except it’s extraordinarily straight (derogatory).

41. The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams // Why did I read this? Why?

40. Truth or Beard by Penny Reid // Inexplicably the first romance I ever read. I didn’t hate it but I am not the target audience.

39. The Duke & I by Julia Quinn // It hurts to say it but the show is *much* better.

38. The Bride Test by Helen Hoang // I loved Helen Hoang’s debut, but this one left no impression on me.

37. A Duke by Default by Alyssa Cole // Scotland setting! That’s all I remember.

36. Just as You Are by Camille Kellogg // A queer romance that let me down. Too much explaining queer culture to straight readers.

35. The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai // Alisha Rai is so cool. I don’t remember this book at all but I love her.

34. Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory // Jasmine Guillory is always top tier! But this one is about two politicians and I don’t trust them.

33. Secrets and Lies by Selena Montgomery // Selena Freaking Montgomery. Google who she is! Not the best book but I live for her.

32. An Extraordinary Union by Alyssa Cole // The setting and time period was memorable and well done if I remember correctly which I maybe do not.

31. The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston // Cute concept but overall just too cutesy for me.

30. By the Book by Jasmine Guillory // A beauty and the beast retelling that was begging for more spice.

29. Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers // An emotional queer romance about coming into adulthood that takes itself a little too seriously.

28. Love in Color by Bolu Babalola // Romance short stories! I want to read more of these.

27. Ayesha at Last by Uzma Jalaluddin // A sweet Pride and Prejudice retelling. But really aren’t most romance novels Pride and Prejudice retellings?

26. Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert // Talia Hibbert knows what she is doing. The whole fake dating scheme in this one kind of lost me though.

25. Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner // Sapphic hollywood romance! Sign me up.

24. The Truth According to Ember by Danica Nava // The main characters make truly terrible decisions here but I was still rooting for them.

23. The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian // The first historical romance I really loved! Swoon.

22. Once Ghosted, Twice Shy by Alyssa Cole // The first sapphic romance novel I ever read, this novella has a special place in my heart forever.

21. A Princess in Theory by Alyssa Cole // One thing about me? I live for the Princess Diaries trope.

20. 10 Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall // The premise is absolutely bonkers, and I can’t explain why, but it worked for me.

19. I’ll Have What He’s Having by Adib Khorram // Lots of Iranian food and good wine and spice in this one.

18. While We Were Dating by Jasmine Guillory // I love the celebrity falls in love with regular person trope and Jasmine Guillory doesn’t miss.

17. The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory // Enemies to lovers babyyyy. Serve me up!

16. The Proposal by Jasmine Guillory // I will read everything Jasmine Guillory writes forever and that’s a promise.

15. Drunk on Love by Jasmine Guillory // Take everything I love about Jasmine Guillory novels and put it all in a vineyard in Napa Valley.

14. Iris Kelly Doesn’t Date by Ashely Herring Blake // Nobody writes for the gay girlies like Ashley Herring Blake.

13. Seven Days in June by Tia Williams // A second chance romance between two authors. Tia Williams can write.

12. Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert // Talia Hibbert balances humor and heart like no one else.

11. Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail by Ashley Herring Blake // If she hates her so much why can’t she stop thinking about her?? I live.

10. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall // One of my favorite audiobook reading experiences in recent memory. I love these silly boys!

9. Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory // A holiday romance with two older MCs who work for the royal family. I am not ashamed to say that this is what they call my cat nip.

8. The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory // Jasmine Guillory is the standard and this book changed my reading life.

7. Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake // The only romance I’ve ever heard quoted in wedding vows. A modern lesbian classic!

6. Wherever is Your Heart by Anita Kelly // Call it recency bias but I just read this novella and these butches have my whole entire heart.

5. One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston // This ode to queer history is evergreen even if it is in fact hard to get down with the subway as a romantic setting.

4. You Made a Fool of Death With Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi // One of the few romances to truly surprise me. I’ve read this twice and I think about it often.

3. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang // I don’t know how this one holds up now, but it looms large in my memory. Another book that changed my reading life.

2. Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston // What can I say? I’d never seen queer joy on the page like this before. I’m not the same reader I was when I first read this but I will always be grateful for the doors this book opened in my mind.

1. The Pairing by Casey McQuison // Red White & Royal Blue’s saucy, sexy, subversive older sibling. I’ve never read anything like it and I am forever chasing the high I felt reading this book for the first time.

If you’ve read this far you deserve a gold star and a big treat. Thank you for having fun with me. I know there are big and scary things happening in the world. I hope you understand that I am not pretending those things are not happening. I am arming myself with joy and, yes, love. I hope you are too.

Oh and tell me in the comments if you have a favorite romance novel! Or if that’s not your cup of tea first of all wow thanks for reading this whole thing and second of all tell me what’s bringing you joy these days.

I love you.

Love,

Rosamond