alien things

or why you should read Beautyland.

Jun 19, 2024

Hey! You’re here! Thank you.

Did anyone else start their book reports in fourth grade by saying, “Hi my name is ____ and I read a great book!”? Is anyone else constantly fighting the urge to use that phrase ten times a day?

WELL… hi my name is Rosamond and I read a great book.

This great book came into my life, as many do, through my bestie Melissa. Her taste is impeccable and she matches my weird, so when she raves about a book there is only one thing to do.

I am talking, of course, about Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino.

Readers know, every once in a while, if you’re lucky, you encounter a book that meets you exactly where you are and shines a light on a new, better path forward. This was that book for me.

As a person who loves talking about books I realize I am not great at explaining what actually happens in the books I love. I can tell you this novel is about belonging and home and the terrible risk we take in loving anyone or anything. It’s about paying close attention to the world and wondering if things have to be this way. It’s about how weird it is that we are all floating around with our feet stuck to this giant rock hurtling through space, trying to find a parking space and jeans that actually fit.

If you ask me, that’s all you need to know. Are you not intrigued?? That said, I understand the need for a few more specifics so here’s a little of what happens in this tender, strange book.

Adina Giorno is an alien in the body of a human girl, born to a single mother in 1977 in Philadelphia. Her mission and purpose is to send reports and findings on humankind back to her home planet via fax machine. She pays attention to everything. She questions the things one is not supposed to question. It’s a coming of age novel with an alien twist. It’s queer in the broadest sense. There is a dog. A really good dog. There is love and loss and astonishment.

If the alien stuff is a turn off just know it’s not what’s important here. Don’t worry about the planetary details. Because haven’t you felt like an alien once or twice in your time here on this planet? Because isn’t there something to be gained from looking at this world with new, wondering eyes?

This book made me excited to go out into the world and look around. And I’m not talking about visiting the seven wonders of the world. I’m talking about looking around in the grocery store, the post office, the diner, the dog park. There’s so much out here and we are all so weird! Imagine explaining it all to someone brand new. Imagine being brand new.

After reading this book, I wonder how I might explain my life to my alien overlords. What tiny miracles would be the most astounding? What would be the most puzzling and impossible to rationalize?

How would I explain my beloved leopard print crocs or the different kinds of pink in these roses?

What about the little eight pound creature who runs my life? How to explain the way it feels to love a little old lady dog who sometimes looks at me like this?

How to explain why I frequently send/receive texts related to this old lady dog’s poop??

I don’t want to spoil too much of this book for you because I think it’s best experienced on the page, but there is one line I can’t stop thinking about. In one of her faxes to her alien kin, Adina writes,

Dogs are the best we can do.

I agree.

Dunkin would have to explain to the aliens why he sometimes misplaces his ears, but that’s a whole other thing.

Anyway, I think you should read this book. And if you get the chance today, try looking at the world like you have to explain it to an alien. What would you say is the best part of being on this planet? Why does that one thing feel so important? Is it actually?

Can you believe how weird and scary and beautiful it is that we are all here mostly trying our best despite everything?

I’m going to try to act more like an alien today because I’m not convinced that’s not exactly what I am. Anyone else?

Stay weird out there beauties.